Facts
Lies
and
Theories
Contributing Writers
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JORDAN JACO
Senior Staff Writer
(although he is only around 30)
Jordan has been a writer since before he could remember. While that mostly consisted of indecipherable scribbles with a permanent marker on the confining walls of his crib, it was a beginning of a passion for the power of the pen.
Jordan quickly advanced the art of scribing his prose by moving on to more mature media outlets such as bathroom walls. Years later, while doing time in jail for felony offenses of alley graffiti, he discovered his talent for bending the truth which began simply as a survival tactic while imprisoned with hostile inmates. The warden recognized his talent and encouraged Jordan to begin writing for the jail's news letter, The Penned Tentiary. The rest is, as they say, history.
EDDIE LAIN
Staff Infection Writer
(but he is taking penicillin for it)
Eddie is a master of disguise and is therefore able to sneak around to get the stories in stealthy pursuit. He has honed this technique of journalism over many years with very modest beginnings. Growing up as a undernourished small black child, he strove to transform himself and the world around him to make it a better place for himself as well as others.
In a world filled with inequality, he integrated seamlessly into various social circles by adapting to their customs and blending in so well that no one knew his true identity. He would infect these groups with his talent for writing propaganda of love and tolerance before they knew what had hit them, causing them to disband or to become much nicer. His work with feminist hate groups and the Ku Klux Klan was, as he feels, the pinnacle of his life's accomplishments.
He now asserts his talents to infiltrating alien ships, Big Foot encampments, and Democratic parties in search of the truth and to then ultimately share those truths with you the public.
strove to transform himself and the world around him to make it a better place for himself as well as others. In a world filled with inequality, he blended seamlessly into various social circles by adapting to their customs and blending in so well that no one knew his true identity. He would infect these groups with propaganda of love and tolerance before they knew what had hit them, caused them to disband or to become much nicer. His work with feminist hate groups and the Ku Klux Klan was as he feels the pinnacle of his life's accomplishments. He now asserts his talents to infiltrating alien ships, big foot encampments, and Democratic parties in search of the truth to then ultimately share with you the public.