Sea Turtle Drowns. Presidential Debates Blamed Claims PETA

Tortured Turtle tanks while taking in debates by FlatWorld News Staff Writer EDDIE LAIN MIAMI - A green sea turtle has been found dead after being observed viewing televised Presidential Debates between incumbent President Donald Trump and retired ex-Vice President Joe Biden. PETA, the non-profit organization People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, has demanded an immediate halt to the debates. While they agree that the turtle incident might have been an isolated phenomena, they believe that domesticated animals such as dogs and cats should not have to suffer the “inhumane torture” imposed upon them in those households where the televised debates takes place. “Dogs and cats have an incredible sense of smell and can detect small amounts of bullshit but the debates are overwhelming to their senses and this is inhumane torture”, says a PETA spokesperson who wished to remain anonymous.

Apparently, the sea turtle was seen outside the hull of the super yacht owned by Russian oligarch billionaire Andrey Melnichenko viewing the debate through a sub-surface porthole. With its mouth gaping wide open in awe, it allegedly drowned itself by inhaling too much water. The russki yacht is a favorite of sea turtles and it is often seen engulfed by the visiting colony of these wonderful sea creatures when the super yacht visits the shores of Miami.

Another popular spot where the sea turtles congregate around this same yacht has been observed just off the coast of the port town Limon, Costa Rica near where the now famous straw nosed turtle was discovered. In a separate yet possibly related story, five tons of cocaine valued at over $140 million at wholesale prices was recently seized in the port of Limon, Costa Rica. Marine biologists are now raising funds to begin testing sea turtles for cocaine addiction. Could the alleged drowning of this sea turtle be a cover up of a drug deal gone wrong? Our team at Flat World News will continue to investigate and update this article once any more information is available.