Lochness Monster Captured

Nessie has finally been netted and now being served as a nutritious nibble by FlatWorld News Staff Writer JORDAN JACO

Man fishing the foggy fjords for fresh filets

Photocredit: Rob Kunz

The murky depths of Loch Ness have long been rumored to be the home of Nessie, undoubtedly the world's most famous cryptid. Every year, countless monster hunters, mystery seekers and deep-pocketed tourists flock to the shores of the nearly 23-mile lake in hopes of catching a glimpse of the elusive creature. But now, one Scottish chef says that visitors are welcome to taste Nessie.

Leith MacCowan, a Scottish restaurateur, claims to have not only discovered the Loch Ness monster, but to have made it a featured menu item at his small restaurant in Leichkin, just outside of Inverness, which sits at the North end of Loch Ness.

“[My] bairn and I [had] the good fortune to stummer upon a spawning site, and we were [able to] reel in a live one.” While Mr. MacCowan refuses to divulge the location of the purported spawning grounds, he claims that he and his family have utilized it as a convenient harvesting source for his restaurant, “The Silver Sparling,” in Leichkin.

“Nessie Pie has quickly become the most popular menu item at our restaurant.”

Nessie Pie, which MacCowen says consists of nessie meat rolled in rye flour, fried in butter and baked into a double-crust pie, has quickly become the most popular menu item at his restaurant. According to his wife, Aileene MacCowan, who helps run the small eatery, the recipe makes for a “well tidy scran.”

But many locals have expressed disdain for The Silver Sparling’s newfound popularity. Harris Breck, a longtime resident of Inverness and former head chef at the “Fig and Thistle,” has accused MacCowen of shamelessly cashing-in on the Nessie craze. According to Breck, cooking with nessie meat isn’t the new sensation the MacCowen’s have made it out to be, as, according to him, restaurants throughout Scotland’s Highland Region have been cooking with Nessie meat since the early seventeenth century.

Regarding Mr. Beck’s remarks, MacCowan simply suggests that he “Keep the heid! We’re all Jack Thomspson’s bairns.”